What do you think of people who talk, text or eat noisily in the theater?

I hate that, but what I hate more is people who masturbate in movie theaters. I went to see Black Swan with a friend and some guy behind me was jacking off to the scene where Mila and Natalie are making out and Mila eats Natalies....well you know. And then I hear him climax and he shoots his load into MY popcorn. It was like bullet. RIGHT into my popcorn. Stupid jackass! >:O